Ten Years Later

I started this post with talking about where I was September 11, 2001, feelings I experienced and the reactions around me. After I finished, I realized not only was it long, but it was also probably not a whole lot different than others' experiences- so I started over.

“Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall”
- Confucius

10 years ago, America collectively "fell"- physically, emotionally and spiritually. Many of us caught our first glimpse at real evil in our world!

Thankfully, in the same terrible event, we were able to see the good in mankind as well. We saw heroes risk everything to save people they never knew. I think their unbelievable acts of kindness started the healing process almost immediately.

As a country, we are now more resilient. We are more patriotic. We are more grateful for the freedoms that we have.

We fell hard, but we rose so much stronger!

"After all that has just passed, all the lives taken and all the possibilities and hopes that died with them, it is natural to wonder if America's future is one of fear.

... I know there are struggles ahead and dangers to face. But this country will define our times, not be defined by them.

As long as the United States of America is determined and strong, this will not be an age of terror. This will be an age of liberty here and across the world.

... We have suffered great loss. And in our grief and anger we have found our mission and our moment.

...Our nation, this generation, will lift the dark threat of violence from our people and our future. We will rally the world to this cause by our efforts, by our courage. We will not tire, we will not falter and we will not fail.
Each of us will remember what happened that day and to whom it happened. We will remember the moment the news came, where we were and what we were doing.

...I will not forget the wound to our country and those who inflicted it. I will not yield, I will not rest, I will not relent in waging this struggle for freedom and security for the American people. The course of this conflict is not known, yet its outcome is certain. Freedom and fear, justice and cruelty, have always been at war, and we know that God is not neutral between them."

George W. Bush

*photos taken in April 2007 at Ground Zero*

Rock Star, Skater or Goth?

*please note Tucker sending the vibe in the middle picture*

I am starting realize how hard it is to dress boys. I feel like I am constantly needing to buy pants for the poor kid, and they are still always short (heaven help me when puberty hits!). Especially in the church pants department. As much as I hate to admit it, the boy has basically been sporting khaki capris for the past month. So when I spotted these black corduroys, I grabbed them without much examination.

Fast forward to the next Sunday. We are at the in-laws' house, doing our normal Sunday morning scramble. Jared is getting the kiddos dressed while I am running around shoving treats and books into my purse. As they come upstairs, I notice Jared is perspiring slightly. In response to my curious look, he demands to know the reason I bought HIS SON skinny jeans. Not only did he break a sweat trying to wrestle our chunky, ever moving kid into them, he thinks they make him look like a teenage skateboarding punk. Whhhhaaaaaa???

My sister in law later admitted she thought Tucker had taken a turn in the Gothic direction.

Upon first look, I will admit they did look silly. I didn't notice how tapered they were when I bought them. Since then, however, I have decided I love them. They are stinkin' hilarious! I prefer to call them his rock star pants. Not only do I like the way they look now, they restrict his leg movement. Anything that helps me catch him easier gets a gold star in my book!

Every time I put them on him, Jared objects. I innocently explain they are his only church pants that fit right now. I tend to leave out the fact that the desperate search for church pants has dramatically slowed...if not stopped for the time being : )

In other news, in exactly one month I will have a 1 year old. Cue baby hunger.......

Life Reset...

So you know that feeling you get when you walk through the door of your own home after being gone for any extended period of time. I LOVE that feeling- the familiar sights, sounds, smells...just knowing I am in my own space gives me the warm fuzzies.

The kids and I have basically been gone for a month now, with the exception of a few days we spent at home in between trips. We just got home, opened the door (kids and luggage in tow) and took a (what should have been) deep, cleansing, relaxing breath of my home...only to be overwhelmed by an incredible stench- which appeared to be emanating from my pantry.

I feared something had literally crawled in there and died. Turns out I was half right. Something had indeed "died", but it was something I had put in there and forgotten about. A sack of potatoes to be exact.

I kind of feel like those nasty, juicy potatoes represent what I have allowed life to become for me. I need to take back control.

I need to organize. The wreck that destroyed so much happened over a year ago. No longer a valid excuse to have a hoarder's garage. We need to throw away broken belongings once and for all!

I need to exercise. My baby is almost a year old, those last 6-8 lbs have to go. The slight postpartum "issues" I have had need to be replaced with positive, esteem building thoughts.

I need to make my house a home. We have been in this beautiful house for 10 months...put some stinkin' pictures on the wall already, Lindsey!

I need to clean...no excuses!

And possibly most importantly, I need to make friends. I have used all of the aforementioned excuses as reasons for my complete lack of a social life. I need me time. Not a ton, but enough to keep me sane.

I am officially pushing the reset button on my life. Possibly pounding it. I am completely done with sitting on my rear waiting for things to change...when I am the one that needs to change them. I had a month to collect myself, regain perspective and now I am ready to give myself a life makeover.

And I am going to starting by scrubbing off the bottom shelf of my pantry- thank you juicy potatoes!

Mother's Day 2011

Mother's Day was perfection this year!

I got to celebrate the fact that I have these two cuties that call me mommy (ok, one calls me mommy, the other one is a work in progress)

I got to spend Mother's Day in one of the most beautiful places I have ever been (Salmon, ID),

with the people I love most!

We even experienced the delightfulness of this view for many, many miles. Like I said- PERFECTION!

Easter Ensembles...

I am currently on strike, I refuse to take anymore indoor pictures. Take that, frigid, stubborn winter!

Sunday was finally warm enough (BARELY) to try to take pictures of the kiddos in their Easter attire, so we ventured out.

So this picture isn't the best of Tucker (he is kinda out of focus), but I found my new fave bench angle! Now I need to work on getting my camera to focus on the actual person : )

I was so kinda bummed when I noticed the placement of my boy on the bench resulted in him looking like he had ears sprouting out of the top of his head. Then I remembered they were Easter pictures, so decided to go with it : )

Hope everyone had a fabulous Easter!

8 months

Our buddy boy is 8 months old today, and getting so big I am starting to get newborn cravings. Haha, just kidding...kind of...

Tucker is soooo close to crawling. He is at the point where he gets up on all 4's and then LUNGES into a face plant. It kinda resembles a belly flop- without water or actually leaving the ground.

Immobility is getting frustrating for him, but he doesn't want anything handed to him. If he wants an object, and can't get to it his go-to rolling/sliding action, we have to place him on the floor at the precise right location. Really, it's become an art to get him just close enough that he can reach, but far enough that he has to stretch for it. I guess we should be grateful he doesn't want stuff just handed to him...it will really take him far in life.

He is still a squishy little guy. He is wearing size 4 diapers (compliments of the cursed Wilkins high bum crack).

The kid weighs 20 lbs (Kerrigan barely weighed that at a year!) and loves him some food. He will eat ANYTHING! He knows how to make his momma feel good about her cooking as he greets each bite with an enthusiastic, "MMMMMmmmmmmhhhhhh"- followed by wailing if the next bite is not readily available. Similar behaviors are exhibited while nursing, but lest there be men reading this, we won't go into that!

Speaking of food, his need to gum all of his food thoroughly will soon come to an end. The boy just sprouted his first tooth yesterday. The dang thing took its sweet (yet painful for all of us) time coming. 1 down, how many more to go?!?!?!

Tucker is the grabbiest child I have ever met. I don't know if grabbiest is a word, but let's go with it. How he reaches some stuff I will never know! If Inspector Gadget and Stretch Armstrong had a kid...well, that would just be weird, but I think you know where I was going with that. And if there is nothing around him to grab, he sits there and does this strange air grabby thing.

We are still trying to figure out his disposition. He is a sweet little guy who usually is cool with just hanging out. He generally has a 'whatever, dude, I'm just chilaxin' look on his face. He also has a smile and laugh that are contagious. But when the kid is mad, he is MAD!!! He knows what he wants, and will not be distracted by anything!

Luckily for us, this is what his face usually looks like (oh, sweet dimples- as Whitney Houston would say, "I will always loooooooove yoooooouuuuuuuu!)

Happy 8 monthday, Tuck!

THANK YOU!!!!!

Sometimes at the end of the day I think to myself, "Self, did you accomplish ANYTHING today?!?!"

Lots of times, the answer is -other than keeping my kids alive, happy and snotty nose free- a big, fat negatory.

Housekeeping, extensive personal grooming and me-time often get placed on the back burner to trying to be the best parent I can be.

So yeah, at the end of the day, when I see dirty dishes in the sink, loads of laundry needing to be done and my hair BEGGING for some attention, I do sometimes wonder what the heck I did all day.

Then I remember the potty training, endless nose wipings, feedings, multiple clothes and diaper changes, comfortings, time outs, messy art projects, positive reinforcements, story telling, etc.

If I manage to focus on all those things, instead of what I didn't get done, I can give myself a pat on the back for surviving another day as a stay at home mom!

My job is one of the most physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually demanding jobs...and I would not trade it for ANYTHING!

*Sidenote: I am not saying it is impossible to do all of the above. I know plenty of women who always look great, find time to be social, cook meals, have a clean house and incredibly loved kids. I am just not there yet : ) The good news is I can always improve- and that is something I am striving for! I just need to remember to be a little kinder to myself when I fall short...and this article reminded me of that!