Week 32 was a tough one.
It was the week I realized what this move meant for my little family. It was spent taking care of the last minute details that were forgotten with all of the larger, more obvious plans.
It was spent alone, the 2nd week in a row of Jared being out of town. My time was consumed by a distressed, needy toddler who was missing her daddy (whom she had become used to seeing all day, everyday while he studied).
Sleep was rare (honestly, who sleeps well with a missing spouse) and patience was rarer (if that is even a word).
Then on Tuesday, at the peak of my self pity, I was on the receiving end of the look no woman wants to get from her OB. He explained I was measuring quite small...in fact I hadn't grown at all since my last appointment (2 1/2 weeks prior). He explained if the baby had stopped growing, they would need to do some testing and we would need to postpone moving until we knew what the problem was.
An ultrasound was scheduled for today and I was sent on my way. At that point, I knew I was not in a place where I could worry before knowing if something was actually wrong. I took Kerrigan to get her shots, and the rest of the day was normal.
On Wednesday, Kerrigan's new found neediness was increased by a fever and the never ending list of what still needed to be done was once again put on the back burner.
Last night I finally let doubts creep into my mind. What if something was wrong with the baby? What if he had stopped growing? Why was I having to do this on my own?
Trying to settle my whirling thoughts, I turned to the computer to try to find anything to distract me. I found this video on my cousin's blog:
Wow, hello perspective!!! Thank you for again returning to my life...I have missed you the past few weeks!
So today, I headed to my ultrasound KNOWING everything would be fine! Whatever was supposed to happen would- and I would be a better person because of it!
Farewell Week 32. I am not sad to see you go. You were difficult, but you also strengthened me.
I am excited to start Week 33 knowing my son is growing just fine (he is on track to being MUCH bigger than Kerrigan), and 1 week closer to meeting him. I am thrilled Kerrigan is back to her normal self- well, at least her pre-fever self. I am happily anticipating Jared's return home. I have a renewed confirmation that this move is EXACTLY what our family needs, and it will be amazing!