Thursday, July 15, 2010

32 Weeks

Week 32 was a tough one.
It was the week I realized what this move meant for my little family. It was spent taking care of the last minute details that were forgotten with all of the larger, more obvious plans.
It was spent alone, the 2nd week in a row of Jared being out of town. My time was consumed by a distressed, needy toddler who was missing her daddy (whom she had become used to seeing all day, everyday while he studied).
Sleep was rare (honestly, who sleeps well with a missing spouse) and patience was rarer (if that is even a word).
Then on Tuesday, at the peak of my self pity, I was on the receiving end of the look no woman wants to get from her OB. He explained I was measuring quite fact I hadn't grown at all since my last appointment (2 1/2 weeks prior). He explained if the baby had stopped growing, they would need to do some testing and we would need to postpone moving until we knew what the problem was.
An ultrasound was scheduled for today and I was sent on my way. At that point, I knew I was not in a place where I could worry before knowing if something was actually wrong. I took Kerrigan to get her shots, and the rest of the day was normal.
On Wednesday, Kerrigan's new found neediness was increased by a fever and the never ending list of what still needed to be done was once again put on the back burner.
Last night I finally let doubts creep into my mind. What if something was wrong with the baby? What if he had stopped growing? Why was I having to do this on my own?
Trying to settle my whirling thoughts, I turned to the computer to try to find anything to distract me. I found this video on my cousin's blog:

Wow, hello perspective!!! Thank you for again returning to my life...I have missed you the past few weeks!
So today, I headed to my ultrasound KNOWING everything would be fine! Whatever was supposed to happen would- and I would be a better person because of it!
Farewell Week 32. I am not sad to see you go. You were difficult, but you also strengthened me.
I am excited to start Week 33 knowing my son is growing just fine (he is on track to being MUCH bigger than Kerrigan), and 1 week closer to meeting him. I am thrilled Kerrigan is back to her normal self- well, at least her pre-fever self. I am happily anticipating Jared's return home. I have a renewed confirmation that this move is EXACTLY what our family needs, and it will be amazing!


Jacquie loves Ryan said...

Holy Cow! You poor girl! I hate week 32!!! I can't even imagine all the excitement (that's what we'll call it, ok?) that you're experiencing right now. Just will soon be over and thank goodness for those 'perspective' reminders! Love ya!

The Miller's said...

Super cute picture LindseY

CJ Sime said...

You are a doll! It obviously couldn't have been that bad if you can smile like that in the picture!!

I hate to break it to you, but whiny toddlers turn into whiny kids. TRUST ME! I know what I am talking about. You will soon develop zen ears- until then buy some ear muffs.

That would totally suck to move so close to the end of the pregnancy. I hope you can muster some energy and happy hearts. Good luck!!!

Janell said...

Lindsey, Phill and I are not that far from Boise and if you need help moving Phill is off on Fridays and I can get one off and we will head over there to help you guys move in. We could even leave Mason with family for a day or two so we could focus on just helping you! Just let me know! =) It is a whirlwind, but it is gonna be SO great in the end! Do you have a name for that little guy? =)

karen and co. said...

Glad everything is okay. You look beautiful, btw.

dustyperle said...

SO EXCITED TO HAVE YOU HOME well.......sorta. I was hopeing you would say you were moving to Durango CO. Or atleast somewhere in AZ. But Idaho is closer than across the state. We are planning on making the trip to flagstaff when u come down so let us know your plans. I don't want to be in the way though seeing as your baby will be so due. Let us know love ya dusty

Megan and Braden Edwards said...

way to go lindsey! you made me bawl all over the're a trooper, if you need any help I'm only a text away

Anonymous said...

Wow... I so should not have been complaining about my week to you. :-S I'm sorry!

Barbara said...

Wow! You poor thing! You are such a strong woman though, and you look adorable by the way. I love that dress! The first time I saw that video I cried, I was so upset at myself for being so selfish and for thinking that my life was so hard. Oh I wish I lived right next door so I could help you out! Keep smiling, You look beautiful!

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