Friday, June 6, 2008

A REALLY long post, but worth it I promise

When I was younger and people would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up, the answer changed on a weekly basis- including, but not limited to, zoo keeper, weather girl and veterinarian (usually whatever Brooke wanted to be the week before.)
However, by the time I hit high school I knew what I REALLY wanted to be- a mommy. In high school I had a teacher tell me that was a waste of my talents, and it made picking a major in college very difficult...how do you pick what to study for 4 years when you ultimately want to be a full time mother?

A couple months after Jared and I started dating we went to see his brother's baby in the hospital right after he was born. Watching Jared hold that tiny body so gently, I knew he would someday make a terrific dad. It was then that I KNEW he was who I wanted to raise my children with.

2 years ago this month, Jared and I decided it was time to start our family. It was that same summer when I witnessed a friend struggle to have a child. I remember having a conversation with Jared where I said I would NEVER be able to handle that trial, I was definitely not strong enough. Well, I guess Heavenly Father decided to prove me wrong.

The past 2 years have been hard, to say the least. I have discovered you can actually cry so hard your heart literally hurts. However, as painful as it has been, we have learned so many valuable lessons:

We have learned how strong we are as a team. I have heard that an experience like this many times pulls a couple apart. Fortunately, the opposite is true for us- we have become so much stronger. I think some of the sweetest moments we have had occurred because of this trial. There have been so many nights when we have laid in bed, Jared with his arms around me while I cry- I hope I never forget how comforting that is.

We have learned we can be happy for other people's blessings (although Jared is much better at it)- and not to "measure" God's love for us with blessings. Others are not more loved than us just because they receive a blessing we are still waiting for.

I have learned to overcome physical fears. I have learned that when you want something enough, nothing can stand in your way... not even an irrational fear of needles. I can now proudly say I have given myself a shot in the stomach- tough stuff, huh?

Finally, and probably most importantly, we have learned to rely more fully on the Lord. I know that Heavenly Father has strengthened us throughout this trial and eased our pain. He has not left us to deal with this alone.

During October's General Conference we were having an especially hard time. Elder Condie gave a talk, and we both felt like he was speaking directly to us. While speaking of Rachel's inability to bear a child, he said "In this age of one-hour dry cleaning and one-minute fast-food franchises, it may at times seem to us as though a loving Heavenly Father has misplaced our precious promises or He has put them on hold or filed them under the wrong name. Such were the feelings of Rachel. But with the passage of time, we encounter four of the most beautiful words in holy writ: “And God remembered Rachel. And she was blessed with the birth of Joseph and later the birth of Benjamin"....When heaven’s promises sometimes seem afar off, I pray that each of us will embrace these exceeding great and precious promises and never let go. And just as God remembered Rachel, God will remember you."

I wanted to do this in a cutesier way, but I have had so many emotions running through me as I sat down to write this. God has remembered us! In December we will be welcoming our long awaited miracle baby into our home. We are so excited and feel so incredibly blessed. We also realize this is mainly new news to people living far away, since I have been looking pretty pregnant for awhile now- thank you fertility treatments for making my ovaries HUGE! I will post some belly pictures as soon as I find the camera cord.

We had another appointment today (week 13) and everything looks great. Here are some pictures from today's photo shoot (sorry so many, we are just so excited he or she no longer looks like an alien).

36 comments:

The Arbuckle's said...

Congrats Jared and Lindsey.

We are so excited that you will soon hold your baby in your arms and not have to cry anymore.

We can't wait to meet baby Stokes.

Brooke said...

Baby Stokes. . . Kind of scary to think about :) JK!

So first of all that first sentence. . . i was thinking to myself, uhm is she copying MY what I want to be when I grow up list. Those were the ONLY THREE I ever said. HA! Did you have any originals of your own? I don't remember. . .

I am excited to make bows for your little girl. . . or nothing if it's a boy :) Just kidding TONS of stuff to have fun with a boy.

I am truly happy for you guys! Love you!

Brooke said...

FYI. You didn't send me an e-mail with the pictures first. Shame on you!

Jennifer Woodbury said...

I am so excited for you! I had a feeling that you were pregnant, but I haven't seen you so I really had no idea. YAY!!!!!

Steph said...

Congrats! That is so exciting!!!

Jason and Kelsey said...

Oh Lindsey, you made me CRY! I am SO happy for you guys! This is such a special time, and I know you will savor it for as wonderful as it is. There is something so magical about being pregnant for the first time. All the firsts that come along with it, and the exciting anticipation of who they will look like, what they will be like...it's so great. You and Jared will be AMAZING parents. I know everyone says that to every first time parent, but it is so true in your case! The little spirit who gets to come into your home, is truly lucky, and so blessed to have such a fantastic set of parents!

David & Lesley said...

I am so happy for you. It is so exciting to here that everything is going well. The pictures are great! I love you and Miss you so much!

Meggie said...

Congratulations!! I already told Jared that on his facebook yesterday but I figure you would get this message! Anyway, I am sooooooo excited for you guys!! Post LOTS of pictures and keep us updated!!! What is your exact due date? Could this be a Christmas baby?! So exciting!!!!

Ryan & Jacquie said...

LINDZ...you totally just made me cry! You hit home a lil for me. Congrats again! I'm truly so happy for you guys...you've been such a trooper. You give me hope! Love ya!!!

Tyler and Naomi said...

How exciting for you guys! You are going to be a wonderful mommy! I am so happy for you! Love you!

Matt-Whitney said...

YAY!!!!! So happy for you guys!!!! Girl you about made me cry. That is so sweet. Its all worth it. I cant say I had the best dilvery but in the end you will do anything. Keep us posted on all the appts

Adri said...

YEAH!!

I am so happy for you guys! You both will make great parents!

Michael said...

Yay!

Hillary said...

Congrats, congrats congrats! I am so happy for you guys. I hope you're morning sickness is going away now that your out of your first trimester. Cute pics of the little one!
Hillary Arveseth

karen & co. said...

I am so happy for you that I'm actually crying! That is the most wonderful news ever!!

I think it really helped me, that it took us a while to get pregnant, because I knew how much I really wanted a baby. Despite the fact that being pregnant totally sucked, I knew it was worth it. Even now, I think I enjoy my child more because I wanted him so much before I got to have him.

I wish I was there so I could give you the world's biggest hug!

Andy and Sara said...

Yea Lindsey! I am SO excited for you! How wonderful!! Congratulations to you both!

The Haban Family said...

How EXCITING!!!!!!! I am SO happy for you guys that you are FINALLY able to have this blessing!! I know EXACTLY how happy you are! Congratulations!

Jason and Kelsey said...

you got it! if you're having a girl, you just leave those headbands up to me...i'll hook you up! i can't wait to hear what you're having so i can get going on some goodies for you and the baby. go to one of those early ultrasound places and find out! the genitalia is fully formed at 14 weeks...hint hint! :)

The House's said...

Congrats! We are so excited for you guys! Good luck with your pregnancy, I hope everything goes smooth.

Trevor & Taytum said...

Oh my! Can I just tell you that I don't think I could be happier for a person. I knew where you were going with the post before I had even got a few lines through, but it didn't stop me from tearing up! I am at my in-laws right now and so I am trying really hard to not have a bawling session! Wow! This is so good! AND you have made it to 13 weeks....i hear the first trimester is the scariest time. Good for you guys.

If you haven't seen the movie Juno, now's the time to do it. What with being pregnant and having gone through what you have you will definitley appreciate it more.

Yay! I am SOOOO excited. My chest just hurts from holding in the emotions!

Trevor & Taytum said...

P.S. Talk about the BEST Christmas present EVER!!!!

Kristen and Shawn said...

congrats! We are so excited to see this new little baby. We are thrilled for you.

Jason and Kelsey said...

we went to a place called prenatal peek when i was pregnant with kamryn and we found out she was a girl when i was only 14 weeks pregnant. my sister in law and a few friends found out when they were only 13 weeks. there aren't any prenatal peeks in CT, but i googled 3d ultrasounds in CT and a ton of stuff came up. here's one link:

http://www.4d-ultrasounds.com/connecticut.htm

the place i went said you needed to be 18 weeks along for the gender prediction package, so i just lied :). the genitalia is fully formed at 14 weeks, but they say to wait until 18 weeks just because it's easier on them because it's bigger. good luck! go find out soon!!!

k.c. said...

goosebumps, from my head to my feet! SO exciting!! congratualtions. what a journey and how wonderful. very, very excited for you guys!!

Russ and Dulcie Clayton said...

Lindsey, I cried as I read your post! I have been praying for you and your little family for so long. I'm so grateful that you are pregnant, and so excited that you are going to be a Mother. You think that the trial of not being able to have children brought you closer together...wait until the trial of raising one. Haha. You're going to be a great Mom. I'm so happy for you. Congrats!!!

Chris and Aub said...

Can I just say. WOO HOO!!! That is so awesome! I really miss you. maybe some time you can come back to Arizona so I will be able to meet a new little friend. Then maybe you could meet one too. I am also going to have a little bundle of fun in December! I am so glad everything finally worked out for you guys!

McDonald's said...

Wow, I am comment #27. You must have some friends on here!

Way congrats!! You guys totally deserve this! Good luck with everything!

The Graham Crackers said...

Yay!!! Congratulations! I'm soo happy for you guys! Being a Mom is truly the best thing in the world and you are going to be an amazing one! Good luck, I hope it all goes well for you and that you don't get sick at all, cause that's no fun. Woo Hoo! Congrats! :)

p.s. so I teach tennis and your brother Orson is in my class! haha! he is such a cute kid and is going to be quite the tennis player!

Allison said...

Yay! Congrats! I'm so excited for you 2. You'll probably be one of the most fun moms ever!

Melinda Jones said...

Lindsey, you really got me crying with this blog entry! I love the pictures of your little guy or little lady. What fun this time is for you! Thank you so much for sharing such a personal (and moving) experience with us. You both are such good examples of maintaining faith in the Lord. Can't wait to meet this precious gift!

Erin said...

LINDSEY!!!!!!!! Oh my goodness, I am just SO SO excited for you and Jared. Having this new baby in our home and knowing how much you've been wanting this just made me so emotional reading your post. You will be such an amazing mother! What a lucky baby.

Peck Family said...

i am so excited and proud of you. you really wanted this baby so bad that you went through so much just to get it here. that says alot about you and jared. can't wait to hear updates.

boo face mcjones said...

so, i know that i already mentioned this on jared's facebook page (lindsey, i know we haven't met, but you seem wonderful and i think the world of your husband and his family), but i was excited to read through the blog post!

congratulations, you guys! i am so incredibly happy for the two of you! i hope you don't mind if i keep looking at your blog as things progress?

Kara, Garrick and Rylee said...

Oh Lindsey, congratulations a hundred times to you and Jared!!!! That is just such an incredible blessing and miracle. I couldn't be happier for you!!! :)

littlefamily said...

Wow! Congratulations you guys!!! I'm sorry to say that I haven't checked your (and many other friends') blog in a while. When I clicked over and saw the baby-ticker, I was so happy! I know from reading some of your past posts how much you've been wanting this and I'm just so happy for you!!! I'll have to check back more often to see those cute belly-growing pictures!
Take care, and Congratulations again!

rachellehurd said...

sooooo... where are those belly pics???!!! :)