Sunday, November 9, 2008

The Grass is Always Greener...

Since I was young, I have had a bad habit. I don't know what the official name of it is, but I am sure all of you have afflicted by it at some point in your lives.

For me it came in many different forms. My siblings and I would BEG for a pet for years and years. However, and it wouldn't take that long after getting a much desired dog that we would fondly remember our carefree days that didn't involve constant feeding, walking, and of course picking up fresh dog poop. I was ecstatic to enter into high school, but after a DISASTROUS freshmen year wished to return to my much less complex middle school days.

My hair often takes the brunt of this "illness". I would see long, lustrous locks on other girls and set out to grow my hair...and as soon as it had some length to it I would catch a glimpse of a cute short "do" and chop my hair off- only to miss my long hair soon after (if not DURING the haircut). Same thing with color: 1. I want blonde hair 2. Blonde hair 3. Ohhh, look at her pretty brown hair 4. Brown hair 5. repeat - this has been a constant cycle in my life since I was about 14. I think the ultimate example was 2 summers ago. My hair has always been ridiculously straight, much to my dismay. We are talking so straight that it is not a big deal if I don't brush it after washing dries completely straight either way. So 2 years ago I decided the only way to live the dream was to get guessed it- A PERM!!!!! EEESSSHHHKKKK- I just recently rejoiced as the hairdresser cut the last remnants of that disaster from my hair.

I think I have found my anthem, my theme song if you will. It is called I Keep Looking by Sara Evans, and here a some of the lyrics.

Back when I was young
Couldn't wait to grow up
Get away and get out on my own
And looking back now
Ain't it funny how
I've been trying to get back home

Well the straight-haired girls, they all want curls
And the brunettes wanna be blonde
It's your typical thing
You've got yin, you want yang

Just as soon as I get what I want
I get unsatisfied
Good is good, but could be better!
I keep looking for something more
I always wonder what's on the other side
Of the number 2 door

I bet you are wondering about these random thoughts. Well, these past 2 weeks have been very door #2, yin/yang weeks for me.
It wasn't long ago that every morning I would grunt and groan as my body resisted the need to get out of bed. Every morning I would CRAVE the day when I could stop working and give my swollen body a much needed rest. And now that I am not working, I CRAVE my job. Not only am I bored out of my mind, I miss my kids, my co-workers and just the feeling of being needed and that I make a difference. I know all that will change when I actually have a baby to care for, but for now I miss my job.

Shortly after we moved to CT I was called to Primary, which I LOVE!!! I am so grateful to be around these kids, I have learned so much more from them than they could ever learn from me. However, sometimes I wish that I could get some social interaction with adults, instead of 3 year olds.
I was released last week, and today attended Sunday School and Relief Society for the first time in over a year. Talk about a culture shock. I have gone from singing Popcorn Popping and teaching how we can be kind to animals to listening to a discussion about the words of Isaiah! I felt so out of my element that when I saw the Primary president peeking her head into Sunday School, I desperately hoped she was there to tell me there was a mistake and take me back to where I belong. However, I thoroughly enjoyed being with friends in Relief Society listening to an amazing lesson and know that is where I am supposed to be right now.

The grass is ALWAYS greener on the other side!


Lesley Wright said...

Funny how we all feel that way. I am wishing that I had a job something to pass the time, but I know if I had one I would wish I did not. When our babies finally get here we will have a full time job every day so when I think that I want a job, I just think in less that 5 weeks I will have a full time job for the next 25+ years (give or take).

Erin said...

Girls are so silly! I think almost all of us want what we don't have. I am so bad at that!